The Joy of Dining Solo: Claiming Your Place at the Table

Does the thought of asking for a "table for one" make your heart race? You're not alone. In this episode, host Sarah Mitchell shares her own journey from anxious solo diner to confident table-claimer, including a chance airport encounter that reminds us how magical dining alone can be.

Whether you're a seasoned solo traveler or just dreaming of your first independent adventure, this episode unpacks everything you need to know about dining alone while traveling. From practical tips like choosing the perfect table to handling unwanted attention with grace, we're diving deep into the art of solo dining.

You'll discover:

• Why that corner table isn't just a hiding spot (and where you should actually sit)
• Essential items for your solo dining toolkit
• How to turn an ordinary meal into a memorable experience
• Real strategies for feeling confident and safe
• The unexpected joys of dining alone (including the amazing women you might meet!)

Transcript

Welcome to Untethered and Wanderwise where we celebrate the freedom, wisdom and adventures of women over 45 exploring the world on their own terms. I'm your co host Nicky Omohundro and I'm Heide Brandes. Today we're diving into something that many solo. travelers find challenging, dining alone while traveling.  If you've ever stood outside a restaurant heart pounding, wondering if you should just grab something to go. 

This episode is for you and trust me I've been there, done that. Dining solo isn't just about feeding yourself.  It's an act of self care independence. And yes, even rebellion against outdated social norms.

As a solo diners, our mantra is always, I have the right to take up space. My company is enough.  There's no right or wrong way to do this. 

Let me share something that happened to me recently at the Knoxville. airport. There I was seated at a table at Ruby Tuesdays.  I had my book ready. I was seated at a table and prepared for quiet lunch before my flight home, but sometimes the universe has other plans.  The hostess seated another woman next to me, let's call her Jennifer. And I noticed her hands trembling sightly as she sat down and immediately ordered a draft beer. There was something in her expression. That felt familiar to all of us. Who've had those days were. Our life throws you a curve ball.

Maybe it was the way she was trying to hold it together. Or maybe it was that instinct. We develop as women of a certain age. But I caught her eye and smiled. " The wings here are pretty amazing." I said, and just like that, the flood gates opened.  

Jennifer had woken up that morning, planning a routine business trip to Florida. Instead her husband of 13 years chose that moment of all days. Yes. The morning of her trip to ask for divorce.  She'd somehow made it through security in a daze and had all sorts of issues. And now here she was sitting next to a stranger, ordering a beer at 11:30 in the morning. But, you know what struck me most as we talked, I watched her transform between bites of those wings. 

Yes. She took my recommendation. She started listing all the places she'd always wanted to visit, but couldn't because her husband, or soon to be ex-husband, hated flying.  Thailand, New Zealand, the Greek islands for eyes lit up as she spoke about these dreams. She had tucked away for so many years.  "Maybe this is my chance." she said dabbing her eyes with her napkin. "Maybe this is exactly where I'm supposed to be, at an airport with my whole life ahead of me, talking to someone who has a podcast about female travel over the age of 45."

By the time our planes were boarding, we'd exchanged contact information and Jennifer had downloaded three travel apps I recommend that we've mentioned here on the podcast and followed our untethered and Wanderwise Instagram page. Last I heard, she's planning a solo trip to Santorini for her 60th birthday. Props to Jennifer.  

You never know who you'll meet. What stories you'll hear or how a simple meal might become a turning point in someone's life.  Sometimes the table of one, becomes a table of two. And sometimes these chance encounters.  Remind us that we're all part of a larger community of women reinventing ourselves one journey at a time. 

So today I'm going to share my top strategies for embracing solo dining while traveling. Whether you're in Rome, tokyo or just the next town over. We'll talk about:

• How to choose the right restaurant for your solo dining.
•  The best times to dine alone. 
• What to bring with you? 
• How to handle unwanted attention. 
• And most importantly, How to truly enjoy your own company.  

The key to a successful solo dining experience often lies and choosing the right restaurant.  Here are my tried and true tips. 

Start with lunch.  It's typically more casual, brighter. And there tends to be more solo diners during the daytime hours. 

Look for restaurants with counter seating or a bar area, outdoor tables, which are also great for people watching, open kitchens where you can watch the chefs work, and good lighting. Trust. Me, this matters more than you think.  

I always try to avoid restaurants that are primarily for date nights  and dark intimate settings, unless you're already comfortable .

Now let's talk about what I call my solo dining toolkit. Think of this as a comfort kit, not a security blanket, but a collection of items that can enhance your dining experience and give you an option for how to spend your time at the table.  

First Kindle, an iPad,  or a physical hard copy book. Why this works -books are what I call the gentle barrier. They signal to others that you're occupied, not lonely or waiting for someone.  

Bring something light in entertaining.  That 800 page historical  on the black death, maybe not the best mealtime conversation. I prefer travel memoirs or light fiction. That I can dip in and out of between courses. 

Next a journal and a pen. This is about more than just having something to do. It's about creating  memories. I've journaled my way through meals in eight countries. And those entries are now some of my most treasured possessions. 

• You can write about the flavors you're experiencing on a trip. 
• Conversation you've heard. Yes, it's perfectly okay to ease drunk, just a little bit. 
• Sketches of your plate or the view from your table. 
• Ideas for your next adventure. 
• And that novel you've been meaning to write.

Plus there's something inherently sophisticated about a woman dining alone while writing in a journal. Channel your inner Hemingway, just   

A fully charged phone is next on my list. Now, I know what you're thinking. Isn't this just another way to hide. But here's the difference. It's not about scrolling mindlessly through social media. 

• The phone can be a camera for documenting my meal. 
• Portal to download podcast. Like this one. 
• A translation app for international menus. 
• A map to plan your after-dinner exploration. 
• And most importantly, a safety device that keeps you connected. 

Next on the list is small foldable phone stand serves multiple purposes:

• It allows you to watch downloaded shows hands-free if you choose. 
• Perfect for FaceTime dinner dates with friends back home. 
• Helps you take better pictures of your meal. No more awkward, overhead arm reaching. 
• Keeps your phone clean and off potential wet tables. 
• And makes it easier to follow digital recipes if you're cooking at a cook, your own meal spot like a Korean barbecue. place. 

Last on the list. List in my toolbox error business cards. This one surprises people, but trust me when traveling alone, you meet some of the most fascinating people like Jennifer.

 But here's the most important thing about my toolkit, and one that you should have as well. The things in it aren't meant to be a wall between you and the world. Think of it as items as conversation starters, comfort objects, and creativity sparkers.  They're there if you need them, but don't let them prevent you from engaging with your surroundings. 

Some of my most memorable meals has been when I put the book down, close the journal and simply observed the life happening around me, like that day in the Knoxville airport.

Before we dive into the heart of solo dining. I want to share something a little personal. I'm an introvert. Yes. Secret podcast host who just told you about meaningful connection with Jennifer at the airport still gets butterflies before talking to strangers. Sometimes I still I need a little pep talk in social situations. But here's the thing being. An introvert or an extrovert, doesn't define your solo dining journey. What matters is finding your own comfortable way. 

 Let's talk about how to make solo dining, not just comfortable but enjoyable regardless of your social style. The beauty of dining alone is you get to set the tone.  

Here are some strategies I find helpful in creating a perfect solo meal:

• Timing is everything.  When I'm dining by myself, before seven o'clock this means quieter restaurants and more attentive service. 
• Lunch naturally is more casual and often there are a lot more solo diners. 
• Sunday brunch is one of my favorite times to the dine solo.  It's generally feels festive  in social, even when I'm by myself.  
• Hotel restaurants are usually experienced with solo diners at any hour.
• Where you sit does make an impact on your experience. Personally, I like to sit at a counter or a bar that offers built-in entertainment, watching chefs work.
• Corner tables also give a great view of the restaurant allowing me to feel secure. I never have my back to the restaurant. I always want to be facing forward so I can see as people approach.  
• Outdoor seating provides great people watching opportunities. 
• Window seats offer natural entertainment and a great source of light for reading. 
• If you're dining solo, that's completely up to you. If you want to have quiet time, you can always set up your space to mark your territory, pull out your book, your tablet, your journal once you're seated
• Don't feel obligated to give up your table once you're finished. You're there just like every other diner. You're there to enjoy the experience. Don't let weight stuff rush you through. 
• Order exactly what you want, if you want. Dessert first order dessert first.
• And consider telling the server you're not in a rush. If that's important to you.

Now there are some common situations that it's helpful for me as an introvert to have responses at the ready.  

• When I'm asked, are you waiting for someone? I can honestly say no, it's just me tonight or. I'm dining solo.
•  For unwanted company. My go-to response is I appreciate the offer.  But I'm going to be finishing this book this evening.  Or I appreciate the offer, but I'm enjoying some quiet time this evening. 
• When sharing account. Counter or a bar space," I'm actually in the middle of something, but thank you." Is my go-to response.

Safety is always a big thing when you're traveling solo. And some of the things that I always recommend is that you choose well at restaurants in familiar areas keep her phone  charged  invisible. Shirley location with friends, if dining late. And build a rapport more with your server.

So you remember that day in the Knoxville airport. I wasn't planning on talking to anyone. I had my book ready and was content with my solo lunch plans. But sometimes being alone actually opens us up to meaningful connections. Because we're not trying to force them.

As we wrap up today's episode. Remember this. Every woman who Dines alone, paves the way for others to do the same.  You're not just having dinner, you're part of the movement of women reclaim claiming their independence one table at a time. 

Next episode, you'll be back and we'll be discussing how to retire abroad with author and columnist, Kathleen Peddicord. Until then I encourage you to take yourself out for a meal.  Start small. If you need to maybe lunch at a new cafe down the street.  Take a picture and share it with us on. Instagram or Facebook. And tag us at Untethered and Wanderwise.  

This is Nicky Omohundro. And I'm Heide Brandes. Reminding you that the world is your table and you deserve a seat at it.  Thanks for listening.